Reflecting

2013

This time last year were just few days BC - before cancer.
 It was on january 2 that Adam spent the day at the hospital starting the tests to see if his kidney was suitable to donate to his friend.  During the tests they found the tumour.
Thankfully, just a few months later everything is 100%. The cancer was successfully removed along with the kidney in March and after a protracted recovery, Adam is now back at work and back to full fitness.
Reflecting back on the year, I can see how we were so blessed. It was a miraculous way to find what could easily have been undiscovered until it was life threatening. And in the end, all that happened was what Adam was volunteering to do. The only real downside was that we were unable to help his friend.  So while 2013 has in some ways been the most stressful and unpleasant year, my overriding feeling is one of gratitude and reassurance.  I still have my soul mate and best friend with me. And because he was off sick, we managed to have the best family summer we've ever had. Our first family holiday in years and all with renewed emphasis that family and love is what really matters.
There are of course issues that come with the Big C, not least that every headache becomes a brain tumour and that slight irrational fear that it might come back… But whilst there is a temptation to wallow, this year has taught me to seek the positive. It's there in droves if we just look.
I'm grateful for our home, our cars, that we have so much. I'm grateful for extended family, who were just there. I never worried about the children while I was running in and out of hospital and spending hours there, I never have to worry now when I'm at work. Between my family  and the fabulous outlaws our lives are infinitely enriched. And I regularly sit with family and think how great it is to be surrounded by people we love and who love us, who do anything for each other without even thinking about it. I'm grateful for our health, that the problem wasn't permanent or seriously limiting.  I'm grateful for the reminder to be grateful, for the chance to be reminded of what is important.

So in 2014, I shall try to be exactly that: grateful. I shall be glad for having the opportunity to get cross at shoes in the middle of the floor, at endlessly repeating myself asking for things to be done or stopped,  at never having an empty laundry basket, at having to clean the same things over and over, at having to cook endless meals and do endless chores. I will be grateful for all the small things because I could have lost them and many others don't have them.  Most of all, in 2014 I will remember ONLY LOVE. Because thats what counts and why its all worth it.